What My Last Relationship Taught Me About Consistency
"Closing The Door"
Talking with a dear friend, and fellow upcoming blogger, I was sharing some things about what my last intimate relationship taught me. (I use talk therapy as a way to heal and sort through the lessons after a breakup.) One of the lessons I discovered is that this “closing the door” of that chapter will take more than discipline; it will take consistency.
But what is the motivating factor (for me) for “closing the door”?…
Finding the Real Motivation To Move On
I began my gym journey around December 2022, and had been consistent until “the breakup” in 2024. [I may write about it all in a future post, but for now, I will talk about the moving forward.] A few weeks ago (currently – May 2025) I realized I had become physically weaker; and it was due to my inconsistency in the gym.
From Physical Weakness to Personal Accountability
I did not begin my fitness journey because I wanted to lose weight, but because I wanted to take God’s word seriously about my health. My body is a temple, and I was not treating it as a temple that would stand for very long. I also began with a goal of becoming physically stronger; so, when I couldn’t lift as much as I was used to, I had to admit I was disappointed in myself. But that is when I knew something shifted in me and I had to take accountability for my actions (aka acknowledge my lack of consistency).
How Faith and Journaling Revealed the Truth
Back to journaling I went. I needed God to reveal what I was missing. Because He is faithful in the pruning, it didn’t take long for me to discover it was because I was romanticizing the potential I saw in the guy and within the relationship. I had to realize the situation for what it was, and what it wasn’t. He was not the husband God has for me; he was a counterfeit. And because I allowed my focus to be distracted from God, when that relationship ended, I allowed myself to be derailed from my purpose.
And THAT was my Motivating Factor…to get back on track and get better!!!
Grace in the Moving Forward
Breakups are hard! So, I did give myself grace. And I allowed myself the time to heal until I was strong enough to close the door. And now, I’m back on track. I’m starting with the most tangible way; my fitness. I’m setting new goals. I’m being more specific. I’m choosing consistency, especially when I don’t feel very disciplined.
Discipline vs Consistency...What's The Difference?
Getting Started & Continuing
They are closely related, and often work together because they are both conscious choices to be committed to the goals you set for yourself. Discipline is what drives you even when you don’t “feel like it”. Consistency is about pattern correction, it’s about showing up regularly.
Discipline gets you started. Consistency keeps you going.
Discipline fuels consistency. Consistency transforms your life.
What about you???
How To Get Unstuck...and Start Healing
Are you in the “stuck” stage of life? You know you need things to change, but not sure what needs to change? Or do you know what needs to change, but not quite sure how?
Well friend, if I can do it, So Can You! And I believe you can! No matter how big the goal. No matter how small the support system. In the words of the great Rob Schneider in ‘Water Boy’…
Here's your sign to start right now!
Brainstorming Goals (Without Pressure)
No fancy dream board. Just grab a pen and paper. Or open that notes app on your phone and start jotting down goals. They don’t have to be specific. I’m not asking you to create SMART goals. That’s not what you are doing right now. You are at the start line. So go ahead. Jot down some goals. I’ll wait…
Need some inspiration? Here are some examples, but I challenge you to come up with a few of your own…
Identify What's Holding You Back
Now, think about the things that are keeping you from starting?
Is it Finances? Resources? Limiting beliefs?
Make a list. Yep. List them. This list may take some time. And you may get emotional. And that is ok! That is called healing!
This is a part of achieving greatness not many people talk about. It’s actually skipped most of the time because people want immediate success in achieving their goals. But as Kayde Broussard expressed in our GC2 class, “You can’t rush greatness!”
Trust the process, friend!
Combating Limiting Beliefs With Truth
AFTER you’ve made your list of limiting beliefs, make a truth to combat that negativity. I told you, Trust the process!
A side note on this one *Using scripture in this process, I believe, makes it more powerful because God’s truth brings freedom and breaks the power of lies (John 8:31-32) But if you aren’t a Jesus follower, no worries. Find inspiring and empowering quotes for your truth. And please, if you would like to share a scripture, quote, inspiration, please share it in the comments below! You never know who could use it as well!
Now that you have the List of Truth to combat those lies, it’s time to get rid of those lies that have held you captive for way too long! Take the list of lies and tear it up! Burn it! Scream at them! This may also get emotional. Again, it’s ok! This is healing, friend. Maybe go to a rage room and break stuff to get the emotions out. Working out works too, but smashing things is a form of therapy
Turn Your Healing Into Action
Create SMART Goals That Move You Forward
Now is the time to take those goals and turn them into SMART goals. SMART goals is a way to get specific.
What is a SMART goal? I realize not everyone knows what this is, so:
S – Specific, M – Measurable, A – Achievable, R- Realistic, T – Time(deadline)
You have to be SMART when setting your goals, and that is a process in itself. The more specific you get, the more achievable the goal will become.
Build Habits With Discipline And Consitency
Discipline time…Once you have your goals in place and the steps you need to take to achieve them, now is the time to discipline yourself. This may be the hardest part. Starting. So, I highly recommend Mel Robbins’ ‘5 Second Rule’ here!
Discipline is: Skipping the junk food tonight. Going to bed earlier, to wake up earlier. Focusing on a task, instead of procrastinating. Journaling or reading when you’d rather scroll.
What does discipline look like for your goals? Write it down. Keep adding to it as you go. If you find anything is getting in the way of the start, write it down. And Start!
Small Steps = Big Impact
Last but not least. Consistency. The ‘5 Second Rule’ will help here too. But once you’ve started, it’s a little easier to keep it up.
There will be days, or seasons that you slack. It’s ok. That’s life. And life has a way of life-ing real hard sometimes. But keep this nugget in your mind. If you did it once, you can do it again. And again. And again. Keep doing it until it becomes a habit. Until you reach your goal.